The Good Life.

I like life’s little revelations, in particular when I am already feeling the world is wonderful.  Last weekend was my birthday and I was already in good spirits.  Call it Christmas cheer, birthday bliss or whatever, but I was feeling pretty pleased with the way life was going.  To celebrate my birthday, we took a road trip across to the West Coast of New Zealand.  It is a rugged coast facing out to the Tasman Sea, the physical and cultural buffer between Australia and New Zealand.   The Southern Alps which form the spine of the South Island force moisture from the clouds to soak this part of the world with up to 18 metres of rain a year.  It is a landscape of lush and vibrant colour, changing vistas at each corner and an absolute world away from the Canterbury Plains where we live.  If the destination sounds extraordinary, the road trip across the island is as remarkable. Disappearing from the Canterbury Plains, the road carves in to the foot hills, pirouetting with the braided rivers as each criss-crosses the valley on separate paths.  On their way to the ocean, the turquoise waters race past islands of brightly coloured flowers.  Verdant vegetation embraces the valley walls, altering in density and stature as elevations increase.   All around there is water cascading down the slopes in varying volumes, as though the mountains themselves are melting.  Where the hills fuse with the rising mountains, the still snowy peaks draw the traveller’s eyes further skyward to blink in the summer sunshine at the cobalt blue skies.  As the entire scene awakens my senses, I draw a deep breathe to capture this moment as Mother Nature reaches down to kiss my cheek.

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly........for this week.

The Good: Once again I find myself being self-indulgent thanks to the fortunes bestowed upon by my spirit guides.  To have found the job I currently enjoy now is quite satisfying, but the New Year is shaping up to bring small pot of new work opportunities for me to choose from.  It will require some careful thought about whether to return to the old and the familiar to put my training and experience to use or branch off on this relatively new path in I am currently walking to forge a solid career in the Aviation Industry?  All have positives, all have drawbacks, but just how to weigh them all up is an unknown.

The Bad: With the passing of Nelson Mandela this week, the universe will need to dig deep to fill the void he leaves.  A humble and passionate person who had an enormous impact on not just his home country, but the entirety of civilisation.  What he achieved was remarkable and his inspiring presence was enough to shape the future for every generation yet to come. He will be sadly missed but will live forever through his legacy of hope and change is possible for everyone.

The Ugly: It has been a week of road works, more terrifying than normal.  Because the earthquakes of 2010/11 caused so much damage above ground, it is easy to forget what damage there is below.  Water pipes, power lines and waste water systems are all cracked while many roads themselves suffered severe buckling and appeared shattered like glass.  I do understand the need to replace all of this and as a result, the ongoing traffic disruptions are a necessary evil.  But I do wish it wasn't so.

''They have had me for 27 years. If I keep hating them, they will still have me." Nelson Mandela 1918-2013.

Are we Kiwis yet?

So, we bought some land and now we are about to build a house.  At various times in the past I have said to myself “now we are really Kiwis”, but if none of those past instances have served to be ‘the’ moment, then surely the purchase of a small slice of New Zealand counts?  We have downsized from our farm back in Australia, to a paltry 10 acres.  With only neighbours on one side, there is a wonderful sense of space and freedom.  Slight undulation means there are some small ponds and winter flowing creeks.  From one side, the rugged mountain ranges are watching us through the changing seasons.  To the other side is the Canterbury Plains and views over to the old volcanic cones which form Banks Peninsula.  The house will be a transportable, built off site and moved when completed.  It was the quickest way to get a house given the housing crisis New Zealand is currently experiencing.   It will be bigger than our house back in Australia though, and BRAND NEW!  We will add decking and do some landscaping soon after moving in, plus we will be getting a larger pond dug out when the contractors come to put in a driveway.  All the elements we want will be attainable and I am so pleased with our decision to do this instated of wait to find an established house and property.  I will update you all regularly. Have to go wipe the smile of my face now.  Don’t want people to think I am up to no good.

Not the greatest quality video, but it needed to be compressed to be uploaded.  Maybe photos next time.....

As old as you feel.

I was chatting to one of my new work colleagues during the week about general stuff and she started asking questions about my life.  Things I had done, jobs I had worked in, places I have lived and so forth.  It was a brief conversation yet quite revealing.  Not just because I disclosed more of myself to this new person, but because I essentially heard what I was saying, as if someone else was doing the talking.  Not only that, but they were talking about someone else's life.  A life that I wanted to have lived.  It was enlightening to think that this was me I was talking out aloud about.  The colleague echoed my own quickly manifesting private thoughts by stating with a tone of surprise and astonishment that I have been living a great life.  The real knock-me-down moment though was yet to follow.  She continued in her admiration of past my past exploits by adding "and you are still so young!".  Me, who lately has been spending more time than I can justify, thinking how I am beyond the magical prime years.  That somewhere I passed the point of no return, where all the adventure dissipates to be superceded by routine, career, future wealth, old age and then death. So considering this older person’s point of view, I suddenly felt like the world was mine once again.  That doors are all still open to a swarm of opportunities and things yet to accomplish.  I could do anything, be anyone, and go anywhere.  And you know what?  That's exactly what I am going to do.

Great expecations

One of my greatest achievements.....?

Great achievements come in all sizes.  I often find myself reflecting on my own past experiences, feeling a glow of pride and accomplishment in what I have done.  Plus, there is a constant source of optimism with the future being open and undefined, yet to be conquered like a new frontier.  But achievements are not just the big experiences in life that are considered special – a university degree, foreign countries visited or careers forged.  They can be as customary as raising a child, completing a course out of personal interest or just getting though the day without regrets or setbacks.  Life is not the same for all of us and how we gauge our own success and our own level of achievement should not be done by comparing it to that of others. Triumphs are individual and what makes one person feel accomplished and successful will not be true for the next.  If we were all striving to climb a mountain, there would be no mountains left to conquer. If we all wanted to raise a family of children, there would be no room left for those who don’t.  If we all wanted to be in charge, there would be no people left to lead.  So achieving our goals isn’t about being put on a pedestal or being able to boast about astounding experiences, it’s about feeling what you do is worth everything in the world TO YOU.  That is what defines a great achievement and that is what defines the individual.

A good person.

I do try to be a good person.  I try to treat people with respect and give them encouragement and support when needed or leave them better and brighter than when I first met them.  I have little else to offer the world than kind words and my clear conscious.  But sometimes I encounter a situation which kills me inside just a little.  Or a person whom I struggle to be around.  So when I hear one of these people is being treated with the same bitterness and contempt as they themselves inflicted on others, I can't help but feel a little relieved.  Another brick in the wall separating me from such a situation has been placed and it looks like it will be finished soon. I have been waiting for Karma to dish out some justice and while it has been slow in coming I am happy it has arrived.  There is a very fine line between feeling vindicated for ones actions and decisions and being vindictive in seeing retribution arrive.  I am not sure what side of that line I am on at the moment. I do try to be a good person.

A day in the life of....

A little update on my job.  It’s great.

It’s not what I had seen myself doing or being happy in.  An office based position, computers, everyone wanting something from me and trying to keep everyone happy.  While I still recognise that there is a honeymoon period for everything, I can’t believe how much I am enjoying the environment I get to spend my day in.  I share a big office with another staff member who is not often around.  From two walls of windows I look out towards some low hills (Banks peninsula) and across a section of the airport where the International planes pull up and the planes that service the Antarctic bases stand to be loaded/unloaded. Apart from this, I hear the constant rumble of aircraft landing and taking off, giving an energy to the place which can only be described as enthralling.  From the staff room upstairs there is a sweeping vista of the airport and the snowy mountains beyond.  I have many visits to that room for a coffee break.  On my computer I have all the flights arriving and departing and if there is something out of the ordinary happening or one of the big military planes is heading off to the Antarctic I go up and watch it like a reality  TV show.   I don’t feel restricted nor confined to indoors.  I can step outside as often as I like.  I walk each day for at least half an hour, plus usually to and from work while waiting for Phil to pick me up.   What a great way to start and end the day.  Headphones on, great music, and the freedoms of life before me.  As long as I do what my job entails, I can organise my day completely as I want.  This often includes visits to other offices, or them visiting me, or a trip over to the airport terminals to stretch my legs among the travelers. And while I am there, just for a brief moment, I feel like I am about to fly off to another adventure. I have found myself in a position where I don’t feel I am struggling to achieve the goals of my job or to convince myself that I am happy here. Now then, the Emirates flight to Dubai is about to take off. Time to go and get myself a coffee.

The Berlin Wall vs. The Global Citizen

In my late teens and early 20’s. I was fortunate enough to be what I considered a global citizen.  Opening with a year in the USA when I was 16, for the next 10 years I found myself living, working or travelling overseas every year, sometimes for several months at a time.  It wasn't a lifestyle I set out to capture, the universe simply unfurled its magic carpet and took me away. Every adventure was memorable and in some way life changing.  A visit to the former West Germany was one such adventure.

Many younger people are unaware that Germany was ever once two separate countries. Time has a tendency to erase history in school books these days.  It was my first visit to Germany and I was staying with friends in Hamburg which is in the north of the country.  Unrest had been brewing surrounding the Berlin Wall and all it stood for.  The division of a nation, the separation of families, the gap between democracy, freedom and communism.  The Wall epitomised the politics of the past and offered little hope to those entombed behind.  When the world woke on 9th November 1989, it was a different place.  Overnight the borders had been opened allowing East Germans to cross freely into the west.  The destructive cracks in the facade of East Germany had begun.  People Power took over and used this weakness to physically tear down the wall.  In the smash of a hammer, families separated for decades were reunited and a new freedom was found.  Modern Germany had emerged.

Not one to miss a good party, I found myself on a train to Berlin crammed with others keen to salute the beginnings of a new nation and embrace the residents of the former East.  I experienced the throng of a reunited city and was exposed to the positively intoxicating vibes.   I grabbed a few handfuls of the crumbling wall as a memento of the greatest historical event I could imagine being part of.  In a swirl of rapture and surrealistic emotions I headed back to Hamburg.  I shared the carriage with some residents of the former East Berlin.  They being unable to speak a word of English, conversations were clearly enjoyed using gestures and expressions.  They marveled at the cars we passed, the flashing railway crossings, the petrol stations and more.  They saw everything that I didn't and thought it was brilliant.  If I had been able to copture the intense sense of delight in the rattling cabin that night, the world would never be a sad place again.

As a young person in such an intense environment, I left Germany with a new perspective.  It made me realise many things, the most basic being not to take things for granted.  Anything.  Appreciate that I can go anywhere at any time.  That I have money to do so.  That things can change in a second for the good, as well as the bad. That there is power in the common people to not just topple a government, but to build a nation. That I am lucky. Lucky to be a global citizen.

The happiness beyond.

Reflecting on my previous posts it would be easy to think I have fallen into despair and  depression.  Leaving my job with a  bitterness that wont seem to fade, getting sick and injured increasing the  fear of ageing and the relentless punishment of time and then most recently the sale of the farm we called home in the 'early years'.  Rest assured, while it has been a journey of sorts it has not been a time of remorse or defeat.  And here is why. 

I live in New Zealand, one of the most beautiful and colourful countries in the world.  I have a partner who cherishes me and inspires me to be a better person each and every day.  I have a new job which is teaching me new skills and has many doors of opportunity waiting for me to open.  I can walk down my driveway and look towards snow capped peaks.  I have a small garden with plants that I have grown from seeds or cuttings.  I have two dogs who love me regardless of how I feel or look. I have a grand sense of gratefulness that I am healthy, have food to eat, a house to live in and do not live in poverty.  In my space there are no epic disasters, no mass shootings, no oil spills. No dictators, regimes, no wars. I am free. 

So when you read my posts about feeling old or not having the great job I think I deserve, don’t be fooled.  Like many people, when I look beyond my own mind and my own boundaries it becomes very clear and precise how happy I actually am

Home is where the heart is.

As part of our move to New Zealand, it was decided to sell our property back in Australia and buy ourselves a small slice of New Zealand. As all plans begin, it was a brilliant one. We owned the property, not the bank, so it would enable us to continue on our merry way with financial security. No big loans, some spare cash for luxuries, travel, skiing and so forth. That was the plan.

Last week was settlement day for the property. For me, it came and went without fanfare. The benefits of selling were numbed by the loss I felt. Loss of home, loss of place, loss of memories and loss of opportunities. All these things were embodied on our 80 acre farm with endless views of a truly beautiful part of Australia. No more can I feel these views are mine. No more wandering through the beautiful vegetation, the trees which I grew from seed, the seed which I harvested myself. No more opportunities to plan the future – the decking, the landscaping, the constant re vegetating. It is now all in the hands of its new owners. That chapter has ended.

Now we're are in limbo – not here or there. I yearn for a place to call home, somewhere I can add my bit to give it life. The options are there, its just a matter of waiting for the right one to choose us. A new chapter has started but I sure did enjoy the last one.

For all the people who were part of that chapter, thanks for the memories. It all added up to a fine ending. Anyway, I had better turn this page.

Time waits for no-one.

I was recently browsing through one of the boxes we brought over to New Zealand with us, the one containing old photos and other memorabilia of days gone by.  I always get drawn into a world resplendent in nostalgia as soon as I see images of places and people that used to be part of my everyday life.  Memories come flooding back like a gentle breeze forewarns of a storm.  Feelings are awakened and more memories rekindled until I can close my eyes as the storm evolves around me.  I am in that place once more.  With those people again. No time has passed from the point the photo was taken till now.  Then I open my eyes and the storm of nostalgia abruptly ends as I fall to reality with an awareness of place and time.  Around me I see very little that connects who I am to my past experiences, just old photos.  The young and healthy guy I see in the photos is not the middle age man I have become.  It cannot be the same person.  A recent slip at work has left me creaking and groaning, unable to stand without a grimace, walking has become a shuffle, doctors appointments to go to, gentle exercises to do, egos to mend and self esteem to be nurtured.  It simply cannot be the same person.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

How I feel when I think too much about about the fact that I am about to change careers......

A new chapter begins.

So whats he doing now? I finish my current job on the 23rd of this month and jump straight in to my new role the following Monday, on the 26th of August.  I will be employed in a section of the Civil Aviation Authority called Aviation Security Services.  They are responsible for a range of security functions throughout New Zealand.  My area will be the Operations Team coordinating the 120+ employees from several airports in everything from rosters to training and development.  I will be responsible for tasks as varied as approving staff leave to ensuring there are enough resources available to accommodate last minute flight changes.
I feel very fortunate to be able to change jobs as often as I have over my working career.  I keep thinking I am getting too old to do this, and yet opportunities keep arising.  As one dear friend commented recently "You can't sit still can you John!!" and this has been echoed in essence by others.  And they are right, I can't.  But while there are opportunities out there for someone to take, then I am going to darn well be the one to do so.  Remove the fear and the rest is easy.

I am winning.

For the astute who knew of my current situation, the resignation from my current workplace will not be a surprise.  It has been several challenging months of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.  Me being the peg and my work place being the hole (no slight intended).  A few posts ago, I wrote how through every crisis there is a chance to be reborn.  I felt I had been harshly dealt with by the universe and that at some point in the future, this imbalance will right itself.  So, I waited.  And waited some more.  While beginning to doubt my own beliefs in restorative universal Justice, I waited even longer.  Then suddenly, just this week, the balance began to tip back in my favour.  Things started to shine again.  I could see the snowy mountainous through beautiful new eyes.  I could hear the chorus of birds again as I woke each morning, instead of the banging of work place dilemmas in my head.  I am winning. I AM THE VICTOR.

If you can't figure out where you stand in a given situation, it may me time to stop standing and start walking.

Darwin, with regret....

Having left you beyond a far horizon I now realise that I judged you way too harshly and all too quickly.  I committed the greatest sin by comparing your new image to the one of which I first experienced.  From this inconsiderate stance, I chided you for changing over time passed.  I too had changed and this I knew, but still you accepted me with the decency you have constantly shown.  I understand now that you are the same gentle spirit I knew all those years ago.  You bear the same colours, the same warmth and the same pace.  You still paint the sunsets with brilliant colours and the stormy heavens with streaks of tropical gold lightning.  You still dance with the palm trees in the sultry breezes along the seashores.  Yet all I saw were the new changes, not what was still there.  I owe you an apology and one day I will return once more to reconcile.  For a creature who had hoped to live without the burden of regrets, I may just have collected my first one.   

"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." - Lucillle Ball

Through every crisis there is a chance to be reborn.

A few posts ago I wrote of a deep feeling that something was about to happen, the mystery was just what that something was though.  As it turns out, my spirit guides were warning me of the calamity that was circling.  It has struck but I remain unsure of the reasons why.  However, I have always believed that when the universe unveils something terrible, there must be a counter balance of good yet to occur.  The balance will be maintained, it is just a matter of time.  Till then I will sift through the remains of this acrid experience and carry on with a belief in restoration.

"Through every crisis there is a chance to be reborn" 

10,000 visits!

After almost 5 years the number of visitors to these pages has topped the 10,000 mark.  I would never have imagined that it would be so.  What started out as an online journal for myself has evolved.  It became a way to stay in contact with family and friends about my 'year' in New Zealand.  Then I began adding in brief light hearted entries interspersed with lengthy philosophical revelations. It has served me well as a point of record and as an outlet of expression.  It started out as a resource for myself and continues to do so.  I love reading what it was like in the beginning, about things that have happened over the past 5 years.  Little things that I had forgotten or about having thoughts and emotions which have since dissipated. And apparently, so do a number of others. Thanks.

Reading Russian.

Another day has come to an end. A few events marked the day above the mundane of normal.  

It all began with a trip to the garden nursery which was thankfully closed.  Thankfully I say because in my head I have already bought a property, landscaped it and ready to buy the plants. While the first two are yet to happen, the third is dangerously achievable to an over zealous me with some cash in the back pocket. Somehow the idea of buying plants for a garden I don't have for a property I don't own, makes  my make believe residence more real. So, thankfully closed and real money saved.

After this, back to the shopping mall for some more winter woollies then home again for house cleaning. Oh, the magic and excitement of my life in New Zealand. 

The prize activity of the day however was yet to come. I'm good at reading maps, understanding instructions and even following operation manuals, but put a recipe before me and it is like I am trying to read Russian with the IQ of a fork. I see the words, I grasp their meaning and off I go a-cooking. But it never ends up quite looking like the photo. I study the Russian words again only to find the text appears to have changed. From 'one cup' to 'half a cup' or' boil rapidly' has become 'simmer gently'. Sometimes whole ingredients seem to have disappeared from when I first read the recipe.  Or new ones added. Needless to say the dogs ate well tonight. Goodnight.

Something.......

Do you know that feeling you get when every cell in your body is telling you that something is about to happen, but the one assemblage of cells which should know - the brain- seems oblivious?  When there is something amiss that massages ones disposition to a heightened level of expectation, but the function centre of the body has been kept out of the picture?  I’m going through this at the moment and my poor little cranium has been struggling to get on the enlightened team.  While there are changes afloat both personally and professionally there is nothing that would usually daze me or faze me the way I have been lately.  Something is about to happen.

A free born spirit.

and as i crossed the sea, it occurred to me, that i'd left myself behind

Changing scripts.

What a week it has been!  As with any good drama there have been highs and lows, laughs in between the serious moments and even a few tears.  Just when everything looks set on a particular plane, things would change, revelations made or plans cancelled thus rearranging the script each time.  In the low points it felt as if life was punishing me for past sins, recouping on the positive moments provided and subsequently hinting that contentedness will never again be part of this story.  In the high points it is as if nothing could ever unhinge the perfect world in which I live, and every play I will be part of will only ever have a happy and fulfilling conclusion.  But in between all the scene changes I remind myself of a mantra I often carry with me - get on with it!  Life can change the script in your play, but you control how you preform.  Become a prima dona or a dedicated thespian? A hero or a villain?  A supporting role or a protagonist?  In the light of a new day, these choices are clear and easy to make.  I had better go now, I just got my stage call...........

The word theatre comes from the Greeks.  It means the seeing place.  It is the place people come to see the truth about life and the social situation - Stella Adler

What I love about blogging.

How I feel when I have crafted something clever, witty and insightful for this blog.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not.” 

Making room for more memories.

Recently I realised that as I age my past appears to be defined as a series of events.  I like to see them as short stories, each covering an event or era in my life.  There was always a beginning and an end, usually focused on life events such as moving, changing jobs or ending a relationship.  There is also a degree of overlapping between these stories.  Some characters appeared in a number of them, some locations were the same but the characters varied.  The point however is this - these short stories seem to be archiving themselves.  Early events have started to feel distant, almost removed from who I am today.  Is it that time has erased this connection?  Is it because I have done so much since that I can’t remain emotionally attached to every memory?  Have I relived the memory and looked at the photos too many times dulling the emotion leaving just the knowledge the event happened, not the actually feeling?  I will never know.  It has happened and it will continue to happen as long as life experiences continue to accumulate and time continues to pass.  I don't like the thought of losing the connections I have to my past experiences.  However, I do like the inspiration my memories evoke and love knowing that there is more to come.

“Nothing is ever really lost to us as long as we remember it.” L.M.Montgomery

Make a wish....

Re blogged from Breathtaking landscapes

Trail to heaven

Re blogged from Naivement

An invisible existence.

Rambling through a shopping mall over the weekend made me aware of something that made me feel a little uneasy.  I am now in the age demographic of consumers who apparently don't want to buy anything.  Countless store windows had colossal images of beautiful people engaged in the use of the stores merchandise.  The parade of models fell in to two categories - tweenties (tweens, teenagers and twenty somethings - a word I invented may I add) or over 60's.  Clothing, beauty products and telephones were fashioned by baby faced models while financial products, chemist items and travel ideas were shown off by more mature smiling faces.  So where did I to fit in to all this?  Too old to be fashionably dressed however too young to be on a cruise.  Too old for the latest mobile devices yet too young for health products.  So what is there to do but sit with my coffee and piece of cake and watch the target demographics fulfill their roles in this kaleidoscope.  The high school girls gazing dreamily at the lip gloss posters while the older couple fills out their travel insurance forms.  Then there is me, feeling relived I made it through my tweenties relatively unscathed, optimistic about getting to my golden years in one piece, but quietly appreciating the serenity of my currently invisible existence.  The best of both worlds, even if the marketing posters don't say so.

A new view.

The gilded path has been all that it promised - paved with insight and conviction -  on which I tread through the fields of my lost thoughts.  With time as my ally, I emerged veiled in a new dawn.  From this new perspective, the view is simply magnificent.

The gilded path.

You know that moment at work when everything is going great and life can't get any better then unexpectedly it all seems to fall apart? You turn a corner on this high speed jaunt and suddenly there is a dead end and you are hit with a feeling of helplessness and loss of control, maybe even doom. Its at this point I have arrived. But with the lightening reflexes of a race car driver, I have come up with three options. One is to crash and disintegrate under the pressure of impact, something I have unwittingly done before. The next is to stop and reverse to whence I came negating any progress made.  Although why waste energy backtracking through life. Finally, to pull up gently and walk a different route to where I want to be.  So with options at hand, I have decided it is time to stretch my legs.  Time to breathe in deeply, absorb the spectacle of life surrounding me and head through the green fields.  Away from the paved road I had been on, and in these new lush surrounds, I will find my way once more. 

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. Thomas Edison

Classic quotes

From time to time, we all tend to open our mouths with pearls of wisdom and passing comments then regret doing so before even finishing the statement.  It’s quite amusing when it happens to someone else, and absolute gold when they happen to be famous.  Here are a few I found on the net......

Prince Phillip is famous for putting his royal foot in it and he trod rather heavily on a trip down under when he said this classic quote to an Aboriginal Australian.

“Still throwing spears?”

Former US President Ronald Reagan had this to say whilst testing his TV microphone before going on air. Mr Reagan didn’t realize the live feed was up and running and he was speaking to the pblic.

“My fellow Americans, I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes.”

When declining an invitation from former Chinese President Jiang Zemin to extend his China visit, former Russian president Boris Yeltsin said,

"I only have enough food with me for two days."

Former Governor of California Arnold Schwarzenegger had his post terminated but the ex Hollywood movie star had this announcement for the public.

“I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”

American actress Joan Crawford (1905-1977) uttered these regretful words when being told Pearl Harbour was gone (destroyed).

“Oh dear, who was she?”

Actress and former glamour model Brooke Shields showed the public she was the right person to front an anti-smoking campaign with this intellectual comment, which must have been the fruit of hours of research.

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life”

Britney Spears has a few silly quotes attributed to her and I am sure there will be more to come.

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.”

Former BBC TV sports commentator Harry Carpenter winced with embarrassment after saying this whilst commentating on the Oxford – Cambridge University boat race.

“Ah, isn’t that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew.”

I don’t think I can beat that one so I’ll finish there.

Abandoned shops, Chrstchurch.

Stores abandoned.  The pot plant in the cafe on the left lays dead where it fell during the earthquake and the store on the right still had food in the fridges.

One of the many buildings still waiting to be demolished in the city centre.

A hairdressers which looked as though everyone had just walked out and left things at they were.

A Starbucks coffee house still had cups on tables and all the counters set up ready to make coffees.

Creating new windows.

Is life without a television set possible? A house without a TV? I recall visiting elderly relatives as a child and finding they didn't have a televisions set. It was horrifying. I decided they must have been mean or at least senile, resulting in them being quite unaware, isolated and disconnected from the real world. No wonder I wasn't comfortable around them. It wasn't the age thing, or the lack of cream biscuits on offer, it was that without a TV they were obviously uneducated. Years passed by and television became a window to another world. I could travel, learn, laugh and be critical of all that passed on the screen. Life was televised and television became part of life. So when challenged with the logistics of moving overseas recently, it was planned that the TV would be last possession to be sold and the first new purchase upon arrival. As all good plans must do, this went very astray. Other things took priority, a lack of space kept purchases to a minimum and starting work absorbed any spare time. And yet I survived without this essential window to the world. I bought a newspaper every day which kept me informed of events. It was refreshing to not be bombarded with all the noise, movement and colour used in TV commercials to sell, sell, sell while learning about the days dramas. I joined the local library and learnt about ancient empires, travelling overseas and how to care for chickens all in one night. I took the dogs (and Phil) for walks on the beach and met the locals doing the same, and breathed in the clean air being swept in from the Pacific Ocean. It has all been so refreshing and sublime that I don’t want it to end. So, another mean or senile over 40 I may be but so much more aware and connected to the real world than I ever envisaged I could be. These new windows on the world are great.  You should get some.

What is a television apparatus to man, who has only to shut his eyes to see the most inaccessible regions of the seen and the never seen, who has only to imagine in order to pierce through walls and cause all the planetary Baghdads of his dreams to rise from the dust. - Salvador Dali (Spanish artist, 1904-1989)

Christchurch, a broken heart that will heal.

We went for a walk today around some areas of the Christchurch CBD which were damaged in the 2012 earthquake. What I mean is, we went for a walk today around the Christchurch CBD which was almost completely destroyed in the 2012 earthquake. That second version still doesn't exemplify the huge looses of buildings or sound remotely as graphic as the destruction that we saw. So instead, here a few photos.

End of Cashel Street Mall looking in to what used to be the CBD packed with tall office buildings, malls and businesses. Thats Phil standing in the middle of the photo.

An old theatre just south of the CBD.  Up close you can see the intricate carvings and masonry of the ceilings and walls.

A very familiar street scene.

A deserted mall. Many of the shops still had everything in them - food, clothes, coffee cups on the tables.  There was a hairdressers which even had all of the scissors and utensils on the counters.

Christ Church Cathedral waiting repairs.  Once the premier landmark of the city.

Nature is reclaiming what we can no longer use.

Hello New Zealand, we're back.

Leaving New Zealand to return to Australia in March of last year never felt quite right. Maybe we were forcing ourselves to go because we had declared from the onset that our time in New Zealand was finite and Australia is where we both wanted to live. Selling up and returning to our homeland was part of the original plan that we had set ourselves and consequently must be observed. So leave we did.

Now we have returned to New Zealand to live for a second time and it feels as if our year in Australia was merely a dream. Not even that, it was something I saw on television or maybe read about. Thinking about our time in Darwin stirs no emotional connection. It was a time and place so far removed from how I feel now that I can barely recognise the experience as one of my own. I love Australia, I really do. It will always be my home and I will miss its diverse and remarkable beauty, the family and friends that it nurtures and the opportunity that a future return is always possible. For now though, for today as I stand windswept on a wild beach and gaze towards precipitous mountain ranges that stretch far beyond any horizons, it feels great to be back. I await enthusiastically what the next stage of life has in store for me. I can’t help but smile.

Goodbye again.......for now......

And it has happened again.  My life has by some means been crammed in to a backpack and a few small boxes.  Everything I have done in my life, all the places I have been and the physical objects I have owned have been evaluated.  The result of this review has either been to discard or to cherish.  What remains is the skeleton of my 43 years of existence, the bones of adventure and travel, of study and work, of family and friends.  Through this process of assessment comes a recognisable awareness of freedom.  This act of disposal creates a sensation of newness.  Not emptiness.  Not abandonment. Not poverty.  Not loss.  Instead, one of profound joy as if standing on the tip of a mountain to tenderly touch the stars.

“Every fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying.”

A friend to guide me

And the journey begins.  Leaving Darwin posed a bittersweet uplift for my emotional energy.  After months of wondering what’s going to happen next, my anxiety levels had begun to escalate and unhinge my spirit.  Together with oppressive heat and high humidity, while living in some very basic accommodation, the end of my time in Darwin had become personified as a friend looming on the horizon, walking towards me with arms stretched out.  The last morning in Darwin was a surreal moment when I could finally embrace this friend.  As we held hands the journey began and it was this moment which provided the bittersweet element.  Looking into the past 10 months was enough to make me a little melancholy.  As we headed away from Darwin though, the sadness subsided.  As we ventured further and further south into the interior of Australia, the lush tropical vegetation gave way to an increasingly arid and dry landscape.  As the landscape became increasingly drier, it withered my tensions and I could feel the anxieties and worries falling by the way side.  With each sunset, a sense of greater closure was obtained.  With each sunrise a reinforcement of this grand new beginning.

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths - Walt Disney

Darwin, we need to talk......

Darwin, can we talk for a minute? When we first met it was definitely a case of love at first sight.  Your tropical sumptuous gardens, soft breezes and unconcerned attitude swept me into your hands without resistance.  The lingering aromas of frangipani and hibiscus lured me further into your grasp with the enchanting smells of the tropics.  The wide open spaces of a city unsurpassed by any other, ancient fig trees sheltering the casual walkers below with a protective staunch like that of a caring parent.  But that was 10 years ago; we were both different back then and I now realise how we have grown apart.  The gentle tropical swagger has been replaced with a strict march of progress, the easy going atmosphere being replaced by the slick and clinical high rise apartment s and multi-storey car parks.  The tropical gardens are reduced, covered in concrete and the sweet fragrances of flowers replaced by stale beer of backpacker night clubs and burgeoning traffic fume’s.  And that’s OK.  I’m happy that you have found a direction to move forward with and grow into a city like every another city before you has done.  You are the queen of the fastest growing economy within Australia. But in the process, it has cut the tie that bound me to you over all these years of separation.  We have grown apart and I wish you well.  I will always remember what we had and cherish the fond memories of our times together.  Take care Darwin and I will see you again in the future.