If only I could be better. Better at everything. Better at being a good person to others, better at living a healthier lifestyle, a better son, a better partner, a better employee, just better. It’s not enough to be who I am, and it never was. I remember as a teenager sitting alone on a river back near the house I grew up in. I would compile lists of the things I wanted to do with my life and qualities I wanted to exemplify, all in order to make myself more popular and better. There’s that word again. This river bank memory was lost in the far recesses of my mind until recently, when again I started my journey to make myself better. Even with many years between these two points in my life, the feeling is exactly the same now as it was then. So as I revisit this seemingly insatiable need to be better, memories come tumbling forward in to life once more. I get the feeling that the chance has been long-lost to do all of those things that were on the young childs river bank list.

But then maybe the chance wasn’t lost? If I take a really good honest look at what I have done with my life, it is evident that I have done some of those things. They were merely dreams considered beyond difficult to achieve, yet I did achieve them - traveled, learned languages, worked with animals - along the way I have also acquired a reputation which displays some of the qualities I wanted to be as well – honest, reliable, creative, .......hmmmm. Let’s analyse this a bit longer. So I made some lists of things that I hoped would make me a better person. I compared it to the reality of my current situation……………………………..there’s not much difference between the two actually.

A slight change.

Sometimes when I sit down to write, I get carried away on a philosophical tangent and I don't really know where that drive comes from.  I don't sit down with that intention, it's just that sometimes I like to enliven my thoughts through words and bring them in to the real world.  It makes me feel a little bit creative and most importantly, it makes me feel good.  The intention of this blog originally though was to be a means of keeping everyone up to date with the goings on in life here in New Zealand.  So back to basics and I will try to write more about what we are doing as opposed to the deep and sometimes dark bursts of philosophy.  Afer all, I also wanted this blog to become a personal record of this adventure as well as a means of keeping everyone informed of my life.  So, whats new.......?
Life continues to roll along and sometimes I have to double check dates for it really to make sense just how fast time is passing.  When I think of things I did a year ago, it seems like a few months ago, and so my entire sense of time and order are constantly being challenged.  In a few days it will be two years since we drove away from our farm, and that moment indeed does seem like a lifetime ago.  Everything since then thought is all as recent as yesterday in my mind and my emotions.
Work continues to grow and evolve in to a constant learning experience.  There is no monotony or routines at Hamilton Zoo.  I am always being offered opportunities to grow and to challenge myself, and I am always taking them.  I don't just go to work and to the basic zoo keepers role, albeit this is the most important and enjoyable aspect of my job.  I have been given opportunities to get involved in policies and procedures, education services and leadership and do not tire of these new inclusions.
Our mini-farm here has grown by two this past week, with the birth of two calves and another two expected sometime soon.  This is a much better outcome from last year where we only had two calves born, both still born.  I am selling the three geese however as they make a hell of a lot of noise and chase the chooks around the place.
A for travel, summer is here and so we have begun going camping again for the season.  In December we are going to be climbing Mt Taranaki, a volcano on the North Island.  In Februaury we booked flights to Vanuatu and in April we booked time to go on a week long road trip to the north of the North Island.
So that's us in a nutshell!