Life in Darwin

It’s amazing what affect environment can have on a person’s psyche.  I recently spent a week back in the realms of family and old friends in my hometown and it was gratifyingly refreshing.  The instant I stepped off the plane and back into a past life I felt comfortable.  Confident.  Sane.  I have struggled with my new surroundings of Darwin for a few weeks since leaving my job and searching for a different direction.  So many questions and doubts have swirled around me.  What to do from here?  Am I going to find something to keep me happy in Darwin? Should we have stayed in New Zealand?  Why won’t it rain when they say it will? I feel a little dazed with the amount of uncertainty that I am currently experiencing.  Having time off to do what I want when I want sounds great, but the reality is far different.  Carrying this sense of uncertainty around saps the energy and motivation out of me.  I feel very little inspiration to spend time doing the things I love –writing, mosaics, photography – and the heat destroys any enthusiasm to enjoy any outdoor activities – walking, gardening, bird watching.  Returning to cooler climes and friendly faces gave me feelings of delight and relief. Being in a place that felt familiar and welcoming gave me inspiration and foresight and a new found sense of clarity.  I think I know what needs to happen next.

When you don’t give up, you can not fail.

Lana Del Rey

My favourite song at the moment, although it makes me feel a little mournful.  Is that a good thing?

Something amiss?

Don’t get me wrong, I did miss Australia terribly when I was living in New Zealand.  I often wrote of my desire to hear the morning chorus of native parrots, the aroma of eucalyptus and the vast open skies.  I longed for the fierce displays of native flowers and the butterflies that danced around them.  I missed the kangaroos observing silently as people went about their lives in the countryside and the snakes and goannas not afraid to live in the company of humans.  And now I have all of this, and more.  So why do I feel there is still something missing?  Something that I left behind in New Zealand.  Is it a case of the grass is always greener on the other side meaning no matter where I am, I will always be looking for new grass to stretch out on?  Maybe I am simply not appreciating what I have when I have it and for some reason feel things were always better in the past or will be better in the future? I have always been the sort of person that moves from one adventure to another and often wishes for the next one to start as soon as the current one begins.  A lack of patience some might say.  Or not stopping to enjoy the moment I am in because I am thinking too much about the moments passed and the ones yet to come. 

So, where does that leave me?  I have the realisation of what I feel is senseless, almost offensive, and yet I continue to hold on to it.  Is this which drives me from one adventure to the next and maybe without that deep seeded feeling, I would fall to the ground and hold tight for fear of change? Perhaps it is the motivator for all things I do, but I am letting it get too much control over my choices?  Whatever the answer to my searching queries, the impact will be the same.  Get up, shake yourself down and look at where you are.  Every moment is fleeting so enjoy the experiences they bring through your heart and live life with the spirit of contentment.   What I am feeling is not to be ashamed of or changed for it is part of my psyche, of what makes me ‘me’.  Why would anyone, let alone myself, want to change that?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Well, this is embarrassing!  So long and not a word from me.  It is unforgivable.
So what happened? I am not sure myself really.  Life was going along great, I thought I was settling in with a new groove and nothing was out of my reach.  It's easy how the brain can convince the soul that all is well, when really there is a monster lurking in the shadows of your mind.  But a milestone has been reached, the monster destroyed and I'm starting to feel groovy once more.  Lets get re-acquainted.

Tomorrow is fresh, with no mistakes in it.  ~L.M. Montgomery

An interview with myself: Part 2

Q. What have you been enjoying the most since arriving in Darwin?

A.  Oohh, let me see.  A number of things really.  There are markets scattered around  the city area, especially on weekends.  Walking through the Mindl Beach markets on sunset is a vibrant and lively experience.  Getting some dinner from the dozens of international food vans and then sitting on the beach to watch the sun finish its journey for the day is a tradition up here.  I love having all the wild birds right outside my door – flocks of big red-tailed black cockatoos flying overhead, all sorts of parrots and honeyeaters flitting through our garden, storks and ducks flying between the lagoons scattered over the plains.  We have a hundred, if not more, Rainbow Bee eaters which roost in a colony along our driveway.  It’s an amazing chorus of commotion as they all have a final dust bath and flutter to their selected branch.

Q. What other things are you looking forward to?

A. Definitely the wet season which will start making its presence known again around October.  We saw the tail end of the last one when we arrived, but it will be much more brilliant to see a full season of it next summer.  The thunder rolls across the countryside with an unforgiving rumble, combined with the display of lightening in every direction.  As the season moves on, the torrential rain becomes part of the extravaganza culminating in a deafening drum of water lashing foliage and rooves alike.

Q. What are you not looking forward to?

A. The storms I just mentioned are amazing, but more rain, more heat, means that there is an unbearably stifling humidity for much of the day.  This oppressive humidity is what I am not looking forward to at all.

Q. Where to from here?

A. From Darwin you mean?  Well, that is yet to be discussed but I have a few ideas.  If I tell you everything now though, you won’t have a reason to catch up with me later.

Interview complete.

An interview with myself: Part 1

Q. So how have you been since we last communicated?

A. Well, busy to put it in one word.  After packing up our lives in New Zealand we now live in Darwin, with a two week long stopover in South Australia.  It was a whirlwind period and I feel like I have lost the past few months.

Q. Are you happy to be back in Australia?  I know you missed it a lot while living in New Zealand.

A. Yes indeed,  I did miss Australia and have written in the past  how I pined for the sounds of the Australian bush, the smell of eucalyptus, the bright wide open spaces and so forth.  Having said that though, there were always going to be things I’d miss about New Zealand once I had left.  So while I am enjoying being back here, I often think about what I have left behind.  I anticipate moving back there again one day, perhaps in the not too distant future.

Q. Wow, breaking news, we will save that for another interview then!  So, what was your first impression of Darwin?

A. Having been here many times as a tour guide, I did have some idea what I was getting myself in to.  It has certainly grown in the past 10 years though, with several high rise buildings now giving a definitive urban outline to the skyline.  It is remains a lovely, tropical and sunny city surrounded by blue ocean and palm trees swaying in the breeze.  The ‘dry’ season has just begun so the savannah woodland which makes up most of the landscape here has begun to dry out.  We live about half an hour south of Darwin, so I enjoy a drive through this harsh environment which then gives way to the tropical parks and gardens of Darwin city.  It’s a nice transition.

TBC in the next post

be careful what you wish for...

There is an old English proverb which was used as a central theme for a short horror story in 1902.  The Author was W.W.Jacobs and the tale was titled ‘The Monkeys’ Paw’.  It is an early exemplification of the proverb - "be careful what you wish for, lest it come true".

It is too easy to wish we had more of some things, less of others, different jobs, better pay, more hair, less weight, new city, more time and so on.  Seldom do we reflect on what we already have and consider that if we didn’t currently have these things, would they also be on the wish list?  We don’t ask ourselves the questions that we really should – do we truly need what we don’t have and is wishing for it simply creating useless worry and a sense of loss for what we will probably never have?  And what if one of these wishes does eventuate, are we genuinely prepared for the changes and possible disruptions that will follow?  It is human nature to want for more; it is not human nature to think about consequences.  At least not this human.

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.—Unknown Author

So, hows it going so far?

A bit of deviation from my usual ranting and raving about Life.  As promised, I am going to use my blog, Facebook and emails to make contact with everyone about how the move is going.  This posting is going to be more about facts and events as opposed to fanciful philosophical prophecies.

After driving almost 3500kms over a 5 day period, we finally arrived at our new home in Darwin.  The house we are living in is little more than a renovated shed, divided into thirds making up 2 small bedrooms and a larger kitchen/living area.  It is cosy, but comfortable surrounded by 7 acres of land including lots of areas of lush tropical gardens full of palm trees and ferns.  There are also two large verandas which act as outdoor rooms and are great for relaxing under and eating meals outside.  All up, it is enough room for the two of us and considering it is rent free due to some very generous cousins owning the house, we have nothing to complain about at all.  The property is about 30km outside of the city surrounded by similar properties and native scrub. It still feels like we are ‘visiting’ but with time, it will become home.

The dogs are coping with the heat OK.  A bit of a shock for them, although the two weeks down south did give them a taste of 30 degree plus heat.  Their fur shedding has gone in to overdrive since arriving up here though, leaving a trail of hair as they walk around.

It is still the ‘wet’ season up here so there have been daily storms and showers, keeping the humidity at a premium level of discomfort.  Nigh time temperatures get down to 25 and then back up to 33-34 during the day, so the trackies and jumpers have all been relegated to the bottom drawers of the cupboards.

As expected, Darwin has grown since we last visited 10 years ago.  There are a number of new high rise apartments which have transformed the city from a low tropical city to a modern metropolis.  Entire city streets which were once backpacker strips and vacant lots are now decorated with cafes and restaurants of all nationalities.  While never really been a sleepy village, it has apparently livened up in recent years.  There is also a large development at the old wharf which is now a fancy residential and restaurant district.

One of the great things about living here is the amount of native bird life in Darwin.  There are no feral black birds and starlings up here.  Instead we have flocks or Red-tailed Black Cockatoos alighting in our trees, Rainbow Bee eaters swishing through the air in search of insects and Red Winged Parrots dodging the tree tops on their way to the nearby lagoons.  These are but a few of the number of native bird species I see from our property here.  There are also a myriad of different coloured butterflies, possums, bandicoots, reptiles, spiders (some as big as my hand) and snakes. A few minute ago a tree snake fell from one of the palms about 2 metres from where I am sitting with a gecko in its mouth!

I recently took up a position with Conservation Volunteers Australia as their NT regional manager.  It will be a bit of a change for me and be more administrative than my previous positions but I am really looking forward to the change.  The role is overseeing all the conservation projects which are underway in the Northern Territory plus to seek funding and resources to expand.  There are a few big new exploration and mining projects about to start in the region which are always looking to contribute positively to conservation projects, so I am hoping to hit them up for some cash!

So that is the gist of things at the moment.  It has been really busy and will continue to be so for sometime no doubt.  I will write a similar 'dull narrative' again in a month or so as an update, but for now, time to get to back my fanciful philosophical prophecies........

Darwin

Sorry for the absence. Relocating house is crazy enough, but relocating countries is immeasurably crazier.  The transition has been long and convoluted, with visits to family and friends in other parts of the country before arriving in Darwin in the week just past.  It was a perfect whirlwind revisiting my old haunts and seeing everyone again.  Hitting the road for the drive to Darwin was initially daunting, but it quickly metamorphosed in to a period of tranquillity and respite.  I was captive in a vehicle on the move with little to do except sit back, appreciate the ever changing scenery and reflect on life.

Upon arrival, there were things to do and people to see, decision to be made and things to be bought.  Arriving at our destination was almost an anti-climax after the previous days of wistful repose and inactivity.  Faced with a new environment, it was easy to return to thoughts of New Zealand and the joyous sensation that surges within when I do so.  This was followed by a few days of bewilderment and discovery, but slowly the dust is settling around me and a clearer picture of my future is emerging.  Its looks magnificent.

It's time to go......

Only a few hours remain of this adventure.  It is true that I will return to New Zealand again, but that will be a separate adventure disconnected by the passage of time and age.  It feels as if my world has been getting smaller over that last few weeks, with a maddening reduction towards the end.  With each goodbye, there was one less element of my world.  With each last trip to a certain shop, or last drive past a certain landmark, the everyday elements and activities which constituted my life have been trimmed from my branches.  This has left me repeatedly less elements to give my world mass and substance.  As I sit here at the airport I feel as though the past three and a half years of magic have become confused in to one single past event.  All the memories, all the people, the job, and the places are all now in one single box.  And the universe is about to close the lid.

Time.

In some ways it feels like I have been in New Zealand forever.  Then I think about events passed, and it seems like I arrived last week.  It’s curious how the mind doesn’t give an accurate perception of time.  Time is only relevant when you look at your watch or at a calendar.  The concept is lost without a visual object that measures it, defines it or gives it a framework.  Without these time defining objects, time becomes meaningless.  What happened a year ago could have happened 5 years ago or it could have happened last week.  Once it is a memory, it is relegated to the past regardless how far gone that past it.  Time, as a concept, is irrelevant.

So what about the future?  For me, what’s planned for next week is just as imperceptible as what is planned for next year.  It is something yet to occur.  It’s only when I define the occurrence of the event with a measurement of time that I get a sense of it being near or far in to the future.  This gives me great comfort as I look around me now, not having yet left New Zealand but already craving to return.  This maybe won’t occur for a while yet, though by not letting a unit of time define this plan to return I get a sense that my return is just as imminent as my upcoming departure.  It’s all in the future and this eases my current sadness.  A little. 

On a more positive note

As the sun descends to kiss the horizon

these thoughts come clearly to me 

through the Autumn mist.

There is no one beauty in the world, 

just one world which is beautiful.

By embracing new places and allowing no stagnation

we have the chance to see beauty around each new corner.

All that is required is to open our eyes

and look closely at what lays before us at any point in time.

Feel it move within our hearts, souls and minds.

If we walk with our eyes closed

we become lost in an obscurity

that shields the individual from what the purpose of living

really

is.

It is to challenge ourselves, to experience and to learn.

To win, to lose, to conquer, to concede.

But most importantly.....

to shine.

....gone.....

The last day of work came and went.  Two more days have since passed and it already seems so long ago.  The tears have dried leaving a sad and empty feeling inside.  This is planned to be a thrilling and fun time, getting ready for the next big adventure of this crazy road show.  I could fake it, pretend that I’m not sad, that I am actually looking forward to leaving everything and everyone behind. Yet, just the thought of doing so makes that empty feeling inside become greater.

Going, going…….

A week has passed quickly, now leaving less than two weeks before our departure.  The less time we have, the faster it goes.  We don’t have much left to organise or pack, so I will be trying to enjoy this time peacefully.  Enjoy the crisp autumn mornings, the cool fog hugging the countryside waiting for the warmth of the sun to awaken it and give it life.  Slowly watch it rise and clear the view to reveal the artistic landscape that I have become so fond of.

I do have few familiar feelings resurfacing from the period when we were preparing to move to New Zealand.  The sense that time is now in control, that my world is getting smaller and things are changing.  All feelings captured in some of my earlier posts, in September and October 2008.  So long ago.

Must go for now, the fog is waking and commands my attention.

“Without new experiences, something inside of us sleeps. The sleeper must awaken.” – Frank Herbert, author (1920-1986)

Leaving.

In less than three weeks’ time, we will be moving back to Australia.  Our one year adventure quickly grew in to more than the three years it has ended up being.  I thought this imminent departure would surely be an exciting time, having made the decision to return to my beloved homeland to be embraced by its warmth once more.  Many months ago, the thought of returning would have generated all sorts of wistful emotions and immediate thoughts of what I miss so much about Australia.  Now, sitting three weeks out from the departure date, I can’t see any of these things.  My vision is impeded by all that is around me now and exactly how much of an amazing place New Zealand is.  It has been a generous home and we have been gifted with far more than deserved by the people we have met and the places we have visited.  I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

The packing has been largely done.  There was none of the grand shedding of physical belongings which I found so exhilarating and liberating when packing to move over here.  We have accumulated little since arriving, but still it has been sad to discard even the most mundane of belongings.  I have never been so attached to a kettle in my life as I am right now to our current one. I recall purchasing it on our first shopping trip in our new country, along with an assortment of other household items.  The sense of new beginnings and unknown adventures became embodied in this kettle.  It has greeted me each morning, whispering the continuing promises of this new beginning and adventure.  It has been part of every visitor to this house, family and friends from Australia have benefited from its faithful presence.  As I gather it up, ready to be packed for selling, all of these thoughts go through my head; all of these memories are fighting to stay free and continue being remembered.  But as the box of items disappears down the road in the back of someone else’s vehicle, so to do the memories which are attached to them.  Like I said, I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

I know I am going to be excited to be home in Australia, to catch up with family and friends, see the sights, the experience the heady smell of eucalyptus laden air again.  I know it is going to be great shopping for new cars, going through our storage shed of belongings and re-packing for Darwin.  I know it is going to be exhilarating to arrive in Darwin with its tropical climate, majestic palms, dramatic scenery and outstanding sunsets.  I know it.  I just don’t feel it.  Not while I can see all that I am leaving behind.

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.” - Seneca (4BC-65D)

Xtreme, Yoga, Zoo

X is for Xtreme snow sports.  I took the opportunity to learn snowboarding over here.  Slowly I got the hang of things and managed to look a little impressive as long as I stayed on the beginners trails.  The need to feel more competent and the desire to get to the higher points of the fields saw me share time between snowboarding and skiing – my easier option.  Alas, skiing is now all I do on the slopes but I am glad I can now say I’ve done it.

Y is for Yoga.  Something I had never really had any interest in doing before, but again, a change of scenery made me realise how easy and important it is to learn new things.  A local instructor was starting up beginner classes, so off I went and my body has never felt better.  Stretching and twisting is a lot harder and tiring than it looks.

Z is of course for Zoo.  Without the Zoo here at Hamilton and all of its superb staff and animals, this adventure in New Zealand may have ended long before now.  It’s what has kept us here past our original plan of a year and it’s a place to be cherished forever.

Unknown, Volcanoes, Wanaka

U if for the Unknown.  Everything was such a big unknown when we left Australia.  There was no certainty, nothing solid and all sorts of potential roads to go down – some would be our choice, others would be dictated to us by circumstance.  It was a little scary and possibly even reckless, but it has been exhilarating beyond all expectations.

V is for Volcanoes and this area of the north island is one of my favourites of all New Zealand.  These mammoth natural wonders rise nobly from the central plateau and command your attention from hundreds of kilometres away.  Their beauty is only equal to their mystique and provide a range of activities from bushwalking to skiing in what can only be described as a place of incredible power.

W is either for Wanaka or Wellington as they are both deserving of a mention.  Wellington has always been the favourite of my New Zealand cities – full of charm and fascination it won me over before it had even said “hello”.  Wanaka is a small town not far from Queenstown, but has yet to be tarred with the hype of it bigger sister.  Nestled on an alpine lake with a backdrop of dramatic ranges it was always going to be a favourite.

Queenstown, Raglan, Snow, Travel

Q has to be for Queenstown.  My original visit about 5 years ago left me feeling more than a little disappointed.  I had heard so much, probably too much, about the town and its bigger than life personality only to get there and think it was an empty hulk of a tourist town plumped up by the ‘you-have-to-go-there-hype’.  On subsequent visits though, I fell for the place and most specifically its dramatic location within the valleys of the Southern Alps.

R was either for Rain or for Raglan.  Rain because there is so much of it although I still couldn’t get enough of it.  Raglan because this is where I have spent many hours combing the beaches with Phil and the dogs, being tantalised by the every changing black sand coastline, the huge estuary, the flame red flowers of the Pohutukawa trees, the laid back pace of life and friendly charm.  There are more reasons why I love Raglan on this old post…………….

S is for snow and plenty of it.  Being so close to ski fields gave me change to really indulge in snow sports and I love it, love it, and love it!

T is for Travel as that was one of our objectives when moving here, not only within New Zealand but out to the Pacific Islands as well.  There is no corner of NZ which has not been witness to the Phil and John road show of adventure plus a number of Pacific Islands as well.

P is for Poi E

Poi E is sung by the Patea Maori Club, a very classic Kiwi song with great footage of New Zealand fashion in 1982!

O is for Oz

Australia, affectionately called Oz by its citizens, is the greatest country in the world.  I feel comfortable saying that without causing others offence because everyone feels the equivalent amount of pride about our home countries……don’t we? Anyhow, my positive impression of Australia has only been intensified since landing here in Aoteroa for no reason other than it is a big part of who I am.  I have mused before about what I miss from my homeland so will spare you the dribbles once more, but it really warms my soul when I think of these things.  How about another cliché – absence makes the heart grow fonder-lame but something definitely resonates for me from those words.  So it is with great excitement mixed with a slightly heavy heart that I can share that my time in New Zealand is drawing to an end.  A decision was made recently by my other half and I that it is time to head back to Australia to live.  This decision was nothing at all to do with being dissatisfied with New Zealand as I can not seriously fault my adopted country in any way, shape or form.  It’s a very simple case of longing for that part of me that remains in Oz.  But rather than trying to go back to exactly the same place and time that I left, we are heading to Darwin.  Not sure what to do or how it is going to work out, we don’t have jobs to go to or anywhere to live.  We sold almost everything to move to New Zealand, so it is going to be another real adventure in change.  On the move….again……

N is for New Zealand

Kind of an obvious one really.  It is where I am and what has shaped me for the past 3 years.  It's what started this blog in the first place and gave it momentum as time journeyed on.  It is everything and everyone that I see around me and it is all very beautiful and inspirational.  New Zealand is too much to put in to words and means too much to me to be able to express it sufficiently to give it justice.  Put simply, N is for New Zealand and I love you.

M is for Marcus Lush

How coincidental – L was for Lush and now M is for a fellow called Marcus…..Lush!  A lame joke aside, Marcus Lush is a well-known NZ journalist.  He currently has a prime time slot on the national radio station talk back session, but also pops up in newspapers and magazine editorials from time to time.  He has presented a range of documentaries over the years that he is passionate about especially travels and the regions in New Zealand.  He is a straight talker with enough eloquence to not overtly offend yet still share his personal opinions with the world.  He is loved by some, despised by others and characters like him are usually at the bottom of my Xmas card list of favourites.  But there is something undeniably charming about Marcus Lush.  He is absolutely a Kiwi through to the core and passionate yet positively critical about the shortfalls of life today.  Not to mention, he is a bit of a spunk. 

L is for Lushness

Not the ‘harlot’ type of a girl who would hang around salubrious establishments in the 1940’s looking for their next heart to break either.  Lush as in the word that describes copious amounts of thick vegetation – green, dense, abundant, verdant and luxurious.  With a big degree in variation between the wettest and the driest locations in New Zealand and humans unquenchable craving  to clear yet more forests,  the word cannot be used to describe every square inch of the country.  Lush can however be used linguistically correct to still describe the majority of this land, from its lush green pastures to its lush mountain slopes to its lush coastal forests.  You get the picture.  Thanks to a rainfall that falls relatively evenly over the cycle of the seasons, rich soils signifying a volcanic history as well as vast alluvial flood zones, New Zealand was cloaked in this lushness for most of its existence until the arrival of mankind.  What remains however, is mosaic of greens, forever lovely and lush. 

K is for Killing

A great topic to start the New Year on but it’s time to create some controversy.  There is a general acceptance in New Zealand that hunting is a perfectly normal activity that the entire family can enjoy.  I am well learned to hunting being one of the basic skills man developed which advanced civilisation.  To this day it is still a means of support and survival in many areas of the world.  But I can’t move beyond the fact that for most of us, we have moved on from a hunting and gathering lifestyle to agriculture and urbanisation.  Hunting is now termed as a ‘sport’ and a ‘leisure’ activity, no longer a requirement for daily survival.   This is what is evident in New Zealand.  The government contributes huge financial resources to the production and protection of introduced species such as dear, trout, pigs and pheasants.  The same government is spending millions trying to counteract the negative impact these same animals are having on the environment by replanting forests, cleaning streams and protecting what little native birds are left.  This makes as much sense to me as providing weapons to a country to fight in a war against your own.  Furthermore if the prey is getting limited, more get released in to the environment so that hunters are always satisfied.  If the hunters still don’t manage to kill anything, they can pay for someone else to round up animals up on a cliff or run it down with exhaustion, so the hunter can enjoy the moment of the kill.  Excuses such as keeping feral numbers down or helping protecting the environment are simply that, excuses.  Here’s to some change in legislation in the future………