Leaving.

In less than three weeks’ time, we will be moving back to Australia.  Our one year adventure quickly grew in to more than the three years it has ended up being.  I thought this imminent departure would surely be an exciting time, having made the decision to return to my beloved homeland to be embraced by its warmth once more.  Many months ago, the thought of returning would have generated all sorts of wistful emotions and immediate thoughts of what I miss so much about Australia.  Now, sitting three weeks out from the departure date, I can’t see any of these things.  My vision is impeded by all that is around me now and exactly how much of an amazing place New Zealand is.  It has been a generous home and we have been gifted with far more than deserved by the people we have met and the places we have visited.  I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

The packing has been largely done.  There was none of the grand shedding of physical belongings which I found so exhilarating and liberating when packing to move over here.  We have accumulated little since arriving, but still it has been sad to discard even the most mundane of belongings.  I have never been so attached to a kettle in my life as I am right now to our current one. I recall purchasing it on our first shopping trip in our new country, along with an assortment of other household items.  The sense of new beginnings and unknown adventures became embodied in this kettle.  It has greeted me each morning, whispering the continuing promises of this new beginning and adventure.  It has been part of every visitor to this house, family and friends from Australia have benefited from its faithful presence.  As I gather it up, ready to be packed for selling, all of these thoughts go through my head; all of these memories are fighting to stay free and continue being remembered.  But as the box of items disappears down the road in the back of someone else’s vehicle, so to do the memories which are attached to them.  Like I said, I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

I know I am going to be excited to be home in Australia, to catch up with family and friends, see the sights, the experience the heady smell of eucalyptus laden air again.  I know it is going to be great shopping for new cars, going through our storage shed of belongings and re-packing for Darwin.  I know it is going to be exhilarating to arrive in Darwin with its tropical climate, majestic palms, dramatic scenery and outstanding sunsets.  I know it.  I just don’t feel it.  Not while I can see all that I am leaving behind.

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.” - Seneca (4BC-65D)