Don’t get me wrong, I did miss Australia terribly when I was
living in New Zealand. I often wrote of
my desire to hear the morning chorus of native parrots, the aroma of eucalyptus
and the vast open skies. I longed for
the fierce displays of native flowers and the butterflies that danced around
them. I missed the kangaroos observing silently
as people went about their lives in the countryside and the snakes and goannas
not afraid to live in the company of humans.
And now I have all of this, and more.
So why do I feel there is still something missing? Something that I left behind in New Zealand. Is it a case of the grass is always greener
on the other side meaning no matter where I am, I will always be looking for
new grass to stretch out on? Maybe I am
simply not appreciating what I have when I have it and for some reason feel things
were always better in the past or will be better in the future? I have always
been the sort of person that moves from one adventure to another and often
wishes for the next one to start as soon as the current one begins. A lack of patience some might say. Or not stopping to enjoy the moment I am in
because I am thinking too much about the moments passed and the ones yet to
come.
So, where does that leave me? I have the realisation of what I feel is
senseless, almost offensive, and yet I continue to hold on to it. Is this which drives me from one adventure to
the next and maybe without that deep seeded feeling, I would fall to the ground
and hold tight for fear of change? Perhaps it is the motivator for all things I
do, but I am letting it get too much control over my choices? Whatever the answer to my searching queries, the
impact will be the same. Get up, shake
yourself down and look at where you are.
Every moment is fleeting so enjoy the experiences they bring through
your heart and live life with the spirit of contentment. What I am feeling is not to be ashamed of or
changed for it is part of my psyche, of what makes me ‘me’. Why would anyone, let alone myself, want to
change that?
