Goodbye again.......for now......

And it has happened again.  My life has by some means been crammed in to a backpack and a few small boxes.  Everything I have done in my life, all the places I have been and the physical objects I have owned have been evaluated.  The result of this review has either been to discard or to cherish.  What remains is the skeleton of my 43 years of existence, the bones of adventure and travel, of study and work, of family and friends.  Through this process of assessment comes a recognisable awareness of freedom.  This act of disposal creates a sensation of newness.  Not emptiness.  Not abandonment. Not poverty.  Not loss.  Instead, one of profound joy as if standing on the tip of a mountain to tenderly touch the stars.

“Every fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying.”

A friend to guide me

And the journey begins.  Leaving Darwin posed a bittersweet uplift for my emotional energy.  After months of wondering what’s going to happen next, my anxiety levels had begun to escalate and unhinge my spirit.  Together with oppressive heat and high humidity, while living in some very basic accommodation, the end of my time in Darwin had become personified as a friend looming on the horizon, walking towards me with arms stretched out.  The last morning in Darwin was a surreal moment when I could finally embrace this friend.  As we held hands the journey began and it was this moment which provided the bittersweet element.  Looking into the past 10 months was enough to make me a little melancholy.  As we headed away from Darwin though, the sadness subsided.  As we ventured further and further south into the interior of Australia, the lush tropical vegetation gave way to an increasingly arid and dry landscape.  As the landscape became increasingly drier, it withered my tensions and I could feel the anxieties and worries falling by the way side.  With each sunset, a sense of greater closure was obtained.  With each sunrise a reinforcement of this grand new beginning.

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths - Walt Disney

Life in Darwin

It’s amazing what affect environment can have on a person’s psyche.  I recently spent a week back in the realms of family and old friends in my hometown and it was gratifyingly refreshing.  The instant I stepped off the plane and back into a past life I felt comfortable.  Confident.  Sane.  I have struggled with my new surroundings of Darwin for a few weeks since leaving my job and searching for a different direction.  So many questions and doubts have swirled around me.  What to do from here?  Am I going to find something to keep me happy in Darwin? Should we have stayed in New Zealand?  Why won’t it rain when they say it will? I feel a little dazed with the amount of uncertainty that I am currently experiencing.  Having time off to do what I want when I want sounds great, but the reality is far different.  Carrying this sense of uncertainty around saps the energy and motivation out of me.  I feel very little inspiration to spend time doing the things I love –writing, mosaics, photography – and the heat destroys any enthusiasm to enjoy any outdoor activities – walking, gardening, bird watching.  Returning to cooler climes and friendly faces gave me feelings of delight and relief. Being in a place that felt familiar and welcoming gave me inspiration and foresight and a new found sense of clarity.  I think I know what needs to happen next.

When you don’t give up, you can not fail.

So, hows it going so far?

A bit of deviation from my usual ranting and raving about Life.  As promised, I am going to use my blog, Facebook and emails to make contact with everyone about how the move is going.  This posting is going to be more about facts and events as opposed to fanciful philosophical prophecies.

After driving almost 3500kms over a 5 day period, we finally arrived at our new home in Darwin.  The house we are living in is little more than a renovated shed, divided into thirds making up 2 small bedrooms and a larger kitchen/living area.  It is cosy, but comfortable surrounded by 7 acres of land including lots of areas of lush tropical gardens full of palm trees and ferns.  There are also two large verandas which act as outdoor rooms and are great for relaxing under and eating meals outside.  All up, it is enough room for the two of us and considering it is rent free due to some very generous cousins owning the house, we have nothing to complain about at all.  The property is about 30km outside of the city surrounded by similar properties and native scrub. It still feels like we are ‘visiting’ but with time, it will become home.

The dogs are coping with the heat OK.  A bit of a shock for them, although the two weeks down south did give them a taste of 30 degree plus heat.  Their fur shedding has gone in to overdrive since arriving up here though, leaving a trail of hair as they walk around.

It is still the ‘wet’ season up here so there have been daily storms and showers, keeping the humidity at a premium level of discomfort.  Nigh time temperatures get down to 25 and then back up to 33-34 during the day, so the trackies and jumpers have all been relegated to the bottom drawers of the cupboards.

As expected, Darwin has grown since we last visited 10 years ago.  There are a number of new high rise apartments which have transformed the city from a low tropical city to a modern metropolis.  Entire city streets which were once backpacker strips and vacant lots are now decorated with cafes and restaurants of all nationalities.  While never really been a sleepy village, it has apparently livened up in recent years.  There is also a large development at the old wharf which is now a fancy residential and restaurant district.

One of the great things about living here is the amount of native bird life in Darwin.  There are no feral black birds and starlings up here.  Instead we have flocks or Red-tailed Black Cockatoos alighting in our trees, Rainbow Bee eaters swishing through the air in search of insects and Red Winged Parrots dodging the tree tops on their way to the nearby lagoons.  These are but a few of the number of native bird species I see from our property here.  There are also a myriad of different coloured butterflies, possums, bandicoots, reptiles, spiders (some as big as my hand) and snakes. A few minute ago a tree snake fell from one of the palms about 2 metres from where I am sitting with a gecko in its mouth!

I recently took up a position with Conservation Volunteers Australia as their NT regional manager.  It will be a bit of a change for me and be more administrative than my previous positions but I am really looking forward to the change.  The role is overseeing all the conservation projects which are underway in the Northern Territory plus to seek funding and resources to expand.  There are a few big new exploration and mining projects about to start in the region which are always looking to contribute positively to conservation projects, so I am hoping to hit them up for some cash!

So that is the gist of things at the moment.  It has been really busy and will continue to be so for sometime no doubt.  I will write a similar 'dull narrative' again in a month or so as an update, but for now, time to get to back my fanciful philosophical prophecies........

Darwin

Sorry for the absence. Relocating house is crazy enough, but relocating countries is immeasurably crazier.  The transition has been long and convoluted, with visits to family and friends in other parts of the country before arriving in Darwin in the week just past.  It was a perfect whirlwind revisiting my old haunts and seeing everyone again.  Hitting the road for the drive to Darwin was initially daunting, but it quickly metamorphosed in to a period of tranquillity and respite.  I was captive in a vehicle on the move with little to do except sit back, appreciate the ever changing scenery and reflect on life.

Upon arrival, there were things to do and people to see, decision to be made and things to be bought.  Arriving at our destination was almost an anti-climax after the previous days of wistful repose and inactivity.  Faced with a new environment, it was easy to return to thoughts of New Zealand and the joyous sensation that surges within when I do so.  This was followed by a few days of bewilderment and discovery, but slowly the dust is settling around me and a clearer picture of my future is emerging.  Its looks magnificent.

Leaving.

In less than three weeks’ time, we will be moving back to Australia.  Our one year adventure quickly grew in to more than the three years it has ended up being.  I thought this imminent departure would surely be an exciting time, having made the decision to return to my beloved homeland to be embraced by its warmth once more.  Many months ago, the thought of returning would have generated all sorts of wistful emotions and immediate thoughts of what I miss so much about Australia.  Now, sitting three weeks out from the departure date, I can’t see any of these things.  My vision is impeded by all that is around me now and exactly how much of an amazing place New Zealand is.  It has been a generous home and we have been gifted with far more than deserved by the people we have met and the places we have visited.  I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

The packing has been largely done.  There was none of the grand shedding of physical belongings which I found so exhilarating and liberating when packing to move over here.  We have accumulated little since arriving, but still it has been sad to discard even the most mundane of belongings.  I have never been so attached to a kettle in my life as I am right now to our current one. I recall purchasing it on our first shopping trip in our new country, along with an assortment of other household items.  The sense of new beginnings and unknown adventures became embodied in this kettle.  It has greeted me each morning, whispering the continuing promises of this new beginning and adventure.  It has been part of every visitor to this house, family and friends from Australia have benefited from its faithful presence.  As I gather it up, ready to be packed for selling, all of these thoughts go through my head; all of these memories are fighting to stay free and continue being remembered.  But as the box of items disappears down the road in the back of someone else’s vehicle, so to do the memories which are attached to them.  Like I said, I’m not sure how I am going to get through this.

I know I am going to be excited to be home in Australia, to catch up with family and friends, see the sights, the experience the heady smell of eucalyptus laden air again.  I know it is going to be great shopping for new cars, going through our storage shed of belongings and re-packing for Darwin.  I know it is going to be exhilarating to arrive in Darwin with its tropical climate, majestic palms, dramatic scenery and outstanding sunsets.  I know it.  I just don’t feel it.  Not while I can see all that I am leaving behind.

“Travel and change of place impart new vigor to the mind.” - Seneca (4BC-65D)

Becoming a part of Australian history

Who would have thought, eh?  I started writing this blog as a means of keeping a personal journal of this adventure as well as a way to share the fun with those friends and family who choose to do so.  Along the way I have been giving an honest account of how I feel about it all, as well as putting up a few photos and videos to add to the thrill for the readers chasing of my exploits.  Recently I was contacted by what I thought was yet another junk link to my blog by someone wanting me to contact them.  For those in the dark on such issues, the way to leave 'spam' on a website is to leave a message containing a link back to their own website to generate traffic and interest in their products.  This time however, it was a genuine message, from the National Library of Australia.  My humble entries have been deemed as being "of national importance and significance" and as such they were asking for the copyright permission to archive the entire blog and any future postings.  It still makes me blink when I think about it.  Who would have thought, eh........

What I miss about Australia

Birds – On my initial visit to New Zealand several years ago I was struck by the silence of the forests. Nothing stirred, very few birds calling, nothing scurrying from the walking tacks before me. For a real ‘birdo’ like me it felt like uninhabited forests and blank skies.
Long-term relationships – You can’t beat the sensation of having close contact with people who have known you for most of your life, if not all of it. Family and friends I am close to are truly missed. People who know everything about you and still enjoy your company.

Flowers - A similar story to birds. With so much vegetation covering the landscape, it remains green the majority of the year. However, it is never punctuated by the mass flowerings of plants back home like eucalypts, acacias and grevilleas. It’s just continuously green.

High clouds – Simple but true. Cloud cover is usually low over here, hence the high rainfall. I miss the long wispy clouds of an Aussie summer spread across the sky, frequently culminating in remarkable sunsets.

Good wages – NZ has had a poor economy for a few years now and wages are low compared to the cost of living. It was even like this before the global financial crisis and wages are generally 20% less here than in Australia. Lucky for us, having one car, no kids, no mortgage and a simple lifestyle allows us enough money to travel.

Quality news programmes – The only way to describe what New Zealand news bulletins discuss is contrived babble. Not much interest in the world beyond NZ shores so the limited number of news bulletins struggle to fill their time slot with anything of real significance.

None of the above is intended as a harsh criticism of New Zealand as a whole just some of the things I miss about Australia. For any offended Kiwis, a future posting will be things that I DON’T miss about Australia. That will be interesting……

Queensland...are you still there?

I'd like to be thankful that the previously mentioned tropical depression passed Vanuatu and didn't ruin our tropical vacation which is due to begin tomorrow.  But then I see the news and how the storm turned in to the largest cyclone to ever hit Queensland and has had a devastating impact on thousands of people, and I begin to feel selfish.  What a trade off - a holiday inconvenience or wide spread damage of my homeland?  I wish I had been in a position to have made a choice.

Mother Nature Vs Johnny Ray

We are off to Vanuatu next week…..we hope…..we plan to anyway……another tropical island in the warm and azure South Pacific…..but then here’s the story.  Like my previous post, Mother Nature has been busy this season whipping up lots of goodies in her kitchen.  Her specialty this time of year is cyclones.  It’s a bit like us humans when we cook soups in winter or roasts on Sunday, certain foods for certain occasions.  Well, Mother Nature cooks up cyclones in summer and she never disappoints.  This year however, she has been extra busy with the help of her Latina gal-pal, La Niña, creating extensive flooding throughout Australia as well as cyclones almost on a weekly occurrence, or even as extreme as now with three cyclones on the go at once!  So, please Mother Nature, I know you love whipping things up to show us all how magnificent and creative you are, but please don’t send any in Vanuatu’s direction.  They’re on a diet.

It’s always been satisfying to go home to see my family and friends. I love my family and adore my friends and think myself blessed beyond worthiness of their presence in my life. For much of my life though, home has been a great distance from where I find myself travelling and working. I used to be concerned that I was missing out on sharing the special occasions because I was somewhere else, other than home. I would worry that I was in some small way letting everyone else down with my absence, and was creating gulfs between myself and home and all of its entities. Worried that friendships would wither and family bonds would fade. Except when I do return home, I realise that it has all been my insecurities which have allowed these thoughts to creep in to existence. For when I go home, there is no evidence of resentment, shame or guilt. No questions about my reasons for being elsewhere, for not being home more often. All I get is love and warmth and hugs and smiles, everything that makes me feel centred and calm and the very reason why I still call it home.
So to all the family and friends whose company I enjoyed last week, thanks for the great times. I truly relive the moments every day and feel warm and restful. For all my family and friends including the ones I rarely see and the ones who live on the other side of the globe, thanks for being part of my life. It is because of you all that I continue to live and laugh and grow. Together, you are the water in the river of my life, carrying me gently to the ocean of eternal bliss.
My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia. Dame Edna Everage (1934- )

Memories.....

It goes without saying how much I miss my family and friends; hence they are not discussed here. It is a little debilitating not being able to dash up to see my family for a few days at short notice or to be able to call friends to spontaneously invite them over to dinner that night. It’s a different world for me here. Despite those two mammoth elements that I miss in my new life here, it has become apparent that there are several more and I realise what an important part of my life they were. The fact that I miss these physical elements of living in Australia is by no way intended as a criticism or disrespectful in any way of what I do have here in New Zealand. I love it here and wouldn’t want to change anything. These ramblings are solely about what I miss about Australia, not what I think would improve my experience here.

Horizons and a sense of space. A bit hard when there are hills and mountains all around even though they are still really beautiful hills and mountains, every time I get to a place where I can see for miles, something becomes really familiar and comfortable.

The colours. Everything is green over here, bright green, which again is really beautiful, but I do miss the contrasts of the dry earth with the grey green gum leaves and their mottled trunks, the dark green of the Australian bush and the blue sky which over sees it all.

Birds. There are only 51 species of birds found in NZ, 37of them introduced such as sparrows, starling, blackbirds etc. There are no huge flocks of colourful parrots or cockatoos screeching overhead, nor vibrant finches darting through the undergrowth or wrens with shimmering blue and melodic warbles. None of the avian colour and vibrancy which we take for granted in Australia brings the New Zealand landscape to life in the same way.

Mammals. Prior to humans arriving, NZ was largely uninhabited by mammals apart from a few bats and marine species. Since the arrival of humans however, there has been a large number of species successfully introduced including pigs and rats right through to mountain goats, hedgehogs, stoats, cats and foxes. A lot of these animals go unseen except for the dead possums and hedgehogs added to the road sides each morning. Driving through beautiful countryside and spotting sheep and cows doesn’t quite make a good wildlife spotting experience. Coming from our farm in Rockleigh we had a host of bats, kangaroos, wallaroos, possums, echidnas and even a few wombats. Not a day would go by without something hopping past the window, or racing alongside the the car down the dirt road to the freeway. I realise now, one of life’s simple pleasures.

Reptiles. As with birds and mammals, NZ has a tiny number of species compared to Australia. There are no big sleepy lizards, blue tongue lizards or bearded dragons to dodge on the roads, no 3 metre long deadly snakes relaxing on the doorstep and no startled lizards scurrying in every direction in the gardens.

And finally - Pub meals with snitzel nights, homemade burgers and crispy chips served with seasonal vegies which all taste the same as they are drowned in a white sauce.

But remember, things are never better or worse, just different!

Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise.